RUBEONICS

rube
n : not very intelligent or interested in culture [syn: yokel, hick, yahoo, hayseed, bumpkin, chawbacon]
rubeonics
n: words spoken by a rube(syn: I, made, this, up)
Apparently, I have a language problem. I don't know how long I have actually had the problem but I certainly have been made acutely aware of this issue by two new drivers that the pizza store hired. To say that their necks are red would be like saying "camo" is a fashion statement in Sandia. Now, I am very aware of the age difference between most of my coworkers and me, so I say this with some trepidation, but one new driver closely resembles Grandpa Walton(post stroke) but mumbles more. He actually has a "handicapped" tag on the vehicle he uses for deliveries which gives him a distinct parking advantage when delivering to apartments, businesses, etc. He also has a habit of printing out his delivery order, then standing about 2 inches away from our giant wall map for at least five minutes prior to leaving on his run. Some of our coworkers joke that he is trying to memorize the entire map. I personally was concerned he had passed away and rigor mortis had set in. He eventually does move and deliver his pizzas, however.
The other man, has been there a little longer, maybe two months. I hate to admit it, as a fellow white man, but I have never understood a single word he has said. I know that it sometimes seems that there is a white/black language issue. In fact, it seems that some Black folks have their own language or at least dialect. In the late 90's, I remember a brief controversy about the use of Ebonics in some schools or, as they would say in Ebonics: At times, it seems dat some Black folks gots they own language or at least dialect. In fact, in da late 90 's, dere wuz uh brief controversy about da use o' Ebonics in some schools. Now, truth be told, I understand the last version of those two sentences way better than anything either or these two guys has ever tried to say to me.
Now, I guess because we are relatively close in age, the latter guy must feel some affinity to me because he always feels the need to try to converse. Now, the inside of the pizza store, is not really quiet. Each of the ovens has a blower, the phones are always ringing, there is a near constant chatter. No matter what I am doing, he will seek me out, sidle up to me and say some guttural, twangy phrase(I guess). He then lowers his head slightly, looks at me like he has said something profound and waits for my response. I quickly tired of saying, "What?", sometimes 2 or 3 times in a row and still never really knowing what was said. It has gotten to the point that rather than have him repeat his Rubeonics several times, if he's looking at the computer screen, I will start answering possible computer related questions. If he looks at the map, I try to get a look at his delivery ticket and answer location related questions, etc. I must be guessing right because whatever I have said seems to placate him so that I can do my side work or get out the door.......more about Rubeonics at a later date.