Thursday, July 06, 2006


A moment of silence please. The Whitish has a new home. Please welcome the "Mostly Green".

After several weeks on display, in a place of prominence at my friend Mike's repair shop, a local student was overcome with the beauty(and low price) of the Whitish. Mike said she just had to have it. Apparently, due to a lack of time and money, it was the Whitish or a larger yellow vehicle that included a bus pass.

For several weeks, I had been monitoring Craig's List and in general keeping my eyes peeled looking for a new vehicle. As I pondered all the choices and possibilities available to me, from Acura to Volvo, I would try to envision myself pulling up to a house with my car topper blazing in a (fill in the blank): room for pizza bags), too nice it affects the tips),Escalade?(too much...crap). Having a social conscience and yet still being shallow enough to be interested in a penis extender, I considered the new HUMMUS. The HUMMUS, of course, is the new joint venture vehicle between GM and Toyota. Both companies were looking to capitalize upon the popularity of their respective vehicles the Humvee and the Prius, hence the name HUMM(er)-(pri)US. The joint engineering brain trusts came up with the idea of a huge hybrid SUV that runs soley on a beige mush, popular in the Middle East, made of chick peas or garbanzo beans. With beans for fuel, this vehicle would be the first in history to create gas not run on it.

Ultimately, I got tired of the huge waiting list for the Hummus(who knew that there were so many tree huggers with a desire for an extender) and was forced to move on. I eventually saw a vehicle that I felt would fit my needs on Craigs List. It was a 1996 Ford Ranger truck that appeared, at least in viewing the picture, to be in fairly good shape. I called the phone number listed in the add and spoke to what sounded like a young guy about his truck. He assured me that the Ranger was in great shape and I would not need to drive or even see the truck prior to buying it. I declined his offer to send a bag full of cash and made arrangements to test drive the vehicle.

Upon seeing the vehicle, I couldn't help but notice that the picture that had appeared in CList didn't seem to show the many gray "bondo" spots on many of the trucks surfaces. Upon further interrogation, the young truck owner did cop to altering the vehicles appearance with "Photo Shop" that he had gotten for Christmas.
I then got in the vehicle for a test drive. It started and ran OK but the inside of the truck also had several projects that had been started but not finished. The mostly green exterior was contrasted by a black spray painted interior with electric blue highlights(this kid was in serious need of a "Queer Eye" for interior design). In addition, he had taken off and disposed of the interior door panels(leaving exposed green metal) and disconnected all the radio speaker wires. When queeried about any of the incomplete items his response was, "Oh yeah,Dude, I meant to do that." In spite of the fact that there was so much Bondo on the truck that it likely would not have set off a TSA metal detector at the airport, it seemed to run and drive OK. After the drive, we haggled a little and I finally handed him a month's worth of tip money and drove off. Long live(please Lord) The Mostly Green!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

SOOOO glad to see you back!!!
Greetings from Buenos Aires.

9:35 PM  

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