SHEHEREZAD WENT MISSING
As previously mentioned, there is a high turnover rate in the pizza transportation biz. No sooner do you feel like you are getting to know someone then they are gone like the winds(Buddy, the post stroke Grandpa Walton lookalike and surviving member of the Rubeonics Brothers, says our pizza gives him the winds). Such is the case with Sheherezad(sic-her mom's, not mine). She had shadowed me on Thursday(a newbie rides with an experienced driver to learn the real world ropes) and she began delivering solo on a Friday night, typically our busiest. She had a new little Asian whatyucallit "pickemup truck", as Buddy called them, equipped with a deluxe GPS. She had taken the pizza job to help pay for it.
Typically, when an order is printed out for delivery, a driver, no matter how experienced, will usually spend a moment in front of the giant wall map just to verify where he/she is going. After all, it is our gas money and on a Friday or Saturday night, if you're not careful, you could end up in a place that you just don't want to be. Buddy, has been known to plant himself, in a trance-like state, inches from the mural for 5 solid minutes at a time. This always annoyed the young drivers until I told them one time, "He's downloading". Now, they just kind of nod knowingly and work around him.
Sheherezad, like many of the technodependents, couldn't be bothered with the map. After all, she had GPS. She grabbed her first 3 delivery orders and confidently headed for the door. As far as we know, that was the last she was ever seen. There were reports from the kids taking the phone orders that she would call in periodically, in degenerating stages of hysteria. It started with, "Are there any other drivers in there that could please give me a little help?" To one and one half hours later, "I can't find any of these F....ing addresses. This isn't worth it. I have gone through a 1/2 pack of cigarettes and a half tank of gas and I STILL DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM! I F....ING QUIT! DO YOU HEAR ME? I F...ING QUIT!" No one ever did hear from her or the pizzas, for that matter, again.
The real Sheherazade went for 1000 Arabian nights. This namesake couldn't even make it for 1 in Sandia.
Typically, when an order is printed out for delivery, a driver, no matter how experienced, will usually spend a moment in front of the giant wall map just to verify where he/she is going. After all, it is our gas money and on a Friday or Saturday night, if you're not careful, you could end up in a place that you just don't want to be. Buddy, has been known to plant himself, in a trance-like state, inches from the mural for 5 solid minutes at a time. This always annoyed the young drivers until I told them one time, "He's downloading". Now, they just kind of nod knowingly and work around him.
Sheherezad, like many of the technodependents, couldn't be bothered with the map. After all, she had GPS. She grabbed her first 3 delivery orders and confidently headed for the door. As far as we know, that was the last she was ever seen. There were reports from the kids taking the phone orders that she would call in periodically, in degenerating stages of hysteria. It started with, "Are there any other drivers in there that could please give me a little help?" To one and one half hours later, "I can't find any of these F....ing addresses. This isn't worth it. I have gone through a 1/2 pack of cigarettes and a half tank of gas and I STILL DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM! I F....ING QUIT! DO YOU HEAR ME? I F...ING QUIT!" No one ever did hear from her or the pizzas, for that matter, again.
The real Sheherazade went for 1000 Arabian nights. This namesake couldn't even make it for 1 in Sandia.
Labels: gps, lake mary, mostly green, pizza, rubeonics, sanford
posted by pizzaguy at 8:23 AM
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