CAST OF A THOUSAND

As you can guess, there is a lot of turnover in the pizza biz. In that light, there have been some personnel changes since I last posted. Gone is Len, one of the Rubeonics Brothers. Until his final day, I never did understand a word he said. Apparently, he had gotten involved in one of the latest "Direct Marketing"(pyramid schemes). He had his plastered his name and (eventually)phone number in big plastic letters all over his truck. It said, "Call me if U want to make big $!" Which poses the question, if you're making big money, why are you delivering Pizzas? The rumor was that Len drove around with the slogan on his truck but couldn't afford to buy the plastic numbers for his phone number until he had saved up all his tip money for two weeks. I also heard that he would get frustrated when people did call because they couldn't understand him. He would then hang up on them. No one seems to know what really happened to Len, he just went missing.
Gone is Narcissus The Box Boy. Apparently, the manager's attempt in specialization was a dismal failure. She had hired this tall good looking Latin kid to work inside. The problem was that he spoke limited amounts of English and showed no interest in learning any of the inside chores, other than folding pizza boxes. At our store, through cross training, all insiders have to be able to perform most inside tasks from answering the phones to making pizzas. In performing his one and only task, he was able to stand directly in front of the a two way mirror(which he apparently didn't figure out was a 2 way) and gaze fondly at his reflection. At times, he would laugh and make faces at himself, while changing profiles. It would totally annoy the manager who was often times seated on the opposite side of the glass in her tiny office.
Also gone is Bobby. His restrictions due to parole are apparently over and he has moved back to Ohio. Bobby had attended a local college majoring in criminology. He was in the final week of police academy training prior to accepting a position with a local force. He came home from the shooting range early and found his wife with another man. Since he just happened to have his handgun in his hand(go figure)he offered to use it on the coupling couple. His wife managed to call 911 and Bobby ended up in jail then prison. I oftentimes wondered how our customers would feel knowing their pie with extra cheese was being delivered by a convicted felon.
The new guys that have been hired, young and oldish, all seem to have one thing in common, they have GPS'ssss in their vehicles. Now while somewhat curious about them, the more established drivers have no respect for anyone who would let Hal tell them where to go and the quickest way to get there. I am sensing an air of competition rivaling that of John Henry versus the spike driving machine. Something is coming very soon....