WHATCHA GOT FERME?

I parked the "mostly green" in the middle of the short circular drive. Mine was the type of vehicle that would have been considered a blight in this neighborhood. The exterior of the house was a tangerine stucco with cream accents and a couple of Greekish columns thrown in for effect. I could hear the doorbell echo through the cavernous house. After a beat, a 35ish black man opened the 10' arched door. He was well dressed sporting a heavily starched striped shirt. His head and face were smoothly shaved. As the door swung open, he glanced in my direction, "Whatya got ferme," he queried?
"Well sir, it appears we have two....."
With that, he spun slightly on the heels of his expensive loafers, snapped his fingers and pointed in the direction of his left ear, which contained a Bluetooth earpiece, blue light ablaze it had been hidden from my view . In doing so, he tilted his head much like the RCA Dog. His face contained a look that said, I'm not talking to you, you flippin' idiot pizza guy!
"Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh", he continued.
After another beat, he made eye contact with me. "Whatcha got ferme"?
I stood there with a Homer Simpson blank stare. He repeated himself.
"Are you talking to me," I asked, doing my best Travis Bickel.
"I'm looking at you," he countered.
"Yes, yes your are. Well sir, you have two large Nativity Pizzas hold the frankincense. That will be $21, please."
He handed me three $10, took the pies and started to push the huge door shut with his shoulder. As he did, I saw the Bluetooth flash.
"Whatya got ferme?"
Thud.