SECRETDIARY PART II
SDDPG Part II-Ongoing(if a reference doesn't make sense, it may not just be bad writing, it may refer to something mentioned earlier in this blog or its sister blog)
HOSTAGE WITH EXTRA CHEESE...I delivered a pizza to a guy whose pit bull(see PE) was running loose and unbeknownst to me, waiting for me to get out of the car. Due to the darkness, I didn't see the dog until he was right in front of me, snarling and growling. The owner and hopeful pizza recipient uttered that famous phrase, "Oh, he won't hurt you." Always thinking, I said, " Sir, get him out of here now or he gets the pizza and you don't" and I flipped open the box, "and your still paying for it". The man moved very quickly off the porch and grabbed the dog and the box. "I said he won't hurt anyone", he yelled. "Then why do you have a pit bull"? He had no answer and I got no tip!
I was lectured on the importance of timely pizza deliveries by a man who apparently lived in a palmetto bush
I do often times, write things with tongue firmly planted in cheek. That's just the way my mind works but, without saying it on each entry, I do pray each day that God will use me for His glory, as I deliver pizzas
The delivery area covered by our store contains great contrasts. In a 7 mile area there is everything from multi-multimillion dollar homes to projects, crack houses and what was identified by Newsweek, as the most dangerous street in the U.S.(on any Saturday night).
The eight new roach motels that I have strategically placed around the car interior and trunk seem to be having the desired effect, to a point. I parked the "car" in the garage last night and apparently the roaches weren't content with just occupying the car. Sometime during the night, they mounted a bold offensive on the garage and once secured, marched straight into the house. We have lived in this house for 3 years and never seen an inside bug until now. More roach motels, please. NOTE TO SELF: Look to see if they make roach hotels or highrises
A guy in his late 20's told me I was too old to be delivering pizzas. Thank you.
A father of two little ones, screamed like a little girl when a tree frog jumped into his house while accepting his pizza. I chased it down, scooped it up with my hat and flipped it outside. It stuck to my side window of my car, as I drove away
One of our young drivers was robbed at gunpoint, last night. The driver was more upset about getting only a 35 cent tip on a $29.00 order, just prior to having a gun shoved into his face, than the actual robbery event.
The driver said that the robber was very young. What tragically bad judgment by this young robber, to risk 2 lives for $20.35
I delivered a pizza to the dwarf actor who plays a bug on TV commercials. Not a friendly little bugger at all
More proof that God has a sense of humor. I have yet to deliver a pizza to the ground floor of any apartment or condo. (I said lose some weight, Tubby!)
One of our drivers keeps the lighted and logo'd cartopper permanently affixed to his car roof. He says he never gets hassled parking, no matter where he parks
Speaking of cartoppers, I drove approximately 3.5 miles with a pizza bag containing 2 large pizzas, on the roof of my car, tucked neatly behind my cartopper. When I got to my delivery destination, after a moment of confusion and panic, I acted like it was intentional, scooped up the full bag and took it straight the front door of the house, with the recipients none the wiser.
HOSTAGE WITH EXTRA CHEESE...I delivered a pizza to a guy whose pit bull(see PE) was running loose and unbeknownst to me, waiting for me to get out of the car. Due to the darkness, I didn't see the dog until he was right in front of me, snarling and growling. The owner and hopeful pizza recipient uttered that famous phrase, "Oh, he won't hurt you." Always thinking, I said, " Sir, get him out of here now or he gets the pizza and you don't" and I flipped open the box, "and your still paying for it". The man moved very quickly off the porch and grabbed the dog and the box. "I said he won't hurt anyone", he yelled. "Then why do you have a pit bull"? He had no answer and I got no tip!
I was lectured on the importance of timely pizza deliveries by a man who apparently lived in a palmetto bush
I do often times, write things with tongue firmly planted in cheek. That's just the way my mind works but, without saying it on each entry, I do pray each day that God will use me for His glory, as I deliver pizzas
The delivery area covered by our store contains great contrasts. In a 7 mile area there is everything from multi-multimillion dollar homes to projects, crack houses and what was identified by Newsweek, as the most dangerous street in the U.S.(on any Saturday night).
The eight new roach motels that I have strategically placed around the car interior and trunk seem to be having the desired effect, to a point. I parked the "car" in the garage last night and apparently the roaches weren't content with just occupying the car. Sometime during the night, they mounted a bold offensive on the garage and once secured, marched straight into the house. We have lived in this house for 3 years and never seen an inside bug until now. More roach motels, please. NOTE TO SELF: Look to see if they make roach hotels or highrises
A guy in his late 20's told me I was too old to be delivering pizzas. Thank you.
A father of two little ones, screamed like a little girl when a tree frog jumped into his house while accepting his pizza. I chased it down, scooped it up with my hat and flipped it outside. It stuck to my side window of my car, as I drove away
One of our young drivers was robbed at gunpoint, last night. The driver was more upset about getting only a 35 cent tip on a $29.00 order, just prior to having a gun shoved into his face, than the actual robbery event.
The driver said that the robber was very young. What tragically bad judgment by this young robber, to risk 2 lives for $20.35
I delivered a pizza to the dwarf actor who plays a bug on TV commercials. Not a friendly little bugger at all
More proof that God has a sense of humor. I have yet to deliver a pizza to the ground floor of any apartment or condo. (I said lose some weight, Tubby!)
One of our drivers keeps the lighted and logo'd cartopper permanently affixed to his car roof. He says he never gets hassled parking, no matter where he parks
Speaking of cartoppers, I drove approximately 3.5 miles with a pizza bag containing 2 large pizzas, on the roof of my car, tucked neatly behind my cartopper. When I got to my delivery destination, after a moment of confusion and panic, I acted like it was intentional, scooped up the full bag and took it straight the front door of the house, with the recipients none the wiser.
posted by pizzaguy at 8:15 PM
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